Finished my revision of "Draik Expectations"! :)
I rewrote the climax a little so that a) Pharazon's thought processes throughout the whole thing are more clear, and b) Celice shows a bit more of a believable reaction, and one that leads in better to her apology at the end.
A good character-arc tip that one of my editors shared with me is: if you're planning on having a character have a change of heart, you have to set up adequately for that by giving them some adverse reaction to their actions beforehand. Guilt, doubt, and being taken aback by another character disagreeing with them are some good examples of this.
Essentially, it's important to establish that this character has been introduced to the idea that what they are doing may not be the best course of action, and that the character is not dismissing this idea. Even if their initial reaction is to get angry at the person calling them out or doing things differently, that will at least show that this character is not apathetic to others' opinions--getting their ire raised will, if they are open to it, give them the opportunity to think through their anger and come to some important conclusions.
Anyway, Pharazon's character arc here is also important because it establishes that he has a habit of getting so worked up in his emotions that he will put his trust in people who offer him an easy solution to his problems--something that becomes a much more serious issue the year after "Draik Expectations" occurs, during "Worth Searching For".
Another big change in the climax is that in the revision, Pharazon's and Celice's make-up process is more realistic. In the original, Pharazon was far too quick to accept Celice as a friend, and in light of his actions in "Worth Fighting For", it's established that Pharazon (at least at this point in his life) does not let go of grudges easily and has difficulty forgiving others. I feel that it's important that this character trait of his manifests in this story, as foreshadowing for when it gets him into far more severe trouble in "Worth Fighting For". While in "Draik Expectations" he learns the importance of forgiving others when they apologize, in "Worth Fighting For" he learns the importance of forgiving others even when they don't apologize, and why it's important to seek solutions that will help everyone, rather than act on vengeful and hateful impulses.